Suffering and Laying Down EVERYTHING for Jesus

Hello everyone!

I felt led to share the topic of suffering in the Christian walk. I wanted to share a personal testimony. I will share some scripture that I came across that is truth and scripture that has comforted me too. Maybe more… We will see how long this post will be. This might not seem like a super joyful post, but it leads to joy. It is convicting even for me! There is so much joy that I want to share that comes out of this topic.

Some of you may know my grandfather Ken Guyer passed away back in early December 2021. He is my mom’s dad. My sister Kendall called me on the phone that day. I was in Ukraine at this time. I had just gotten home with my team and I get this call that my grandfather passed away. The grandfather that was always there for us through every hardship. He was there for us even if he wasn’t living in the state I grew up most of my life in. When you get a call like that it’s like your world stops for a moment and you just have to go down to your knees. It happened when my older sister Mackenzie passed away in 2020. It happened with my grandfather. I know many people can relate to this feeling.

Now, before I continue, I want to share something. I left to come overseas back in August because God clearly had been preparing and calling me for overseas missions with the unreached. It was a Sunday sermon back in the states that God used to start this journey. I remember the pastor said: “What was the last risk you took for Jesus?” God had been preparing me for long term missions. Not only this year but I want to go wherever God would call me. My entire life! God broke me for those that have never heard the name of Jesus. That don’t KNOW him. That don’t have the hope that I have. I got down on my knees and wept before the Father before I left to go overseas in August. “Father, I give my life to serving you. Use me! I know it won’t be easy! I want to give you EVERYTHING.” God had provided in every aspect for me to come overseas! It was beautiful. He clearly made a way. God has transformed my life. He has delivered me from addiction in my life and given me the continual and supernatural strength to resist temptation. He has been my provider. He is my Lord! He is my Savior! He has been so many things in my life. Since I gave my life to Jesus when I was 19, God has shown me He is ALL I will truly ever need.

Now, the wrestle I had… My grandfather passes away. My mom, my grandmother, my family! Everyone is mourning back home and I am on the other side of the world! I am mourning! There is nothing I can do. Ok, so back to the call I had when I received the news. I get down on my knees and I go to The Father and I ask: “God, what do I do?” I can honestly not describe this. I heard this pounding voice in my head that said: “Do not go home!” It was as clear as God could possibly be to make himself known in that moment. I later come across one of my first 3 journal entries I ever wrote. This was my first journal. You know what the journal entry was over? It was over Matthew 8:18-22. It was very first scripture I ever wrote in that journal.

“18 Now when Jesus saw a crowd around him, he gave orders to go over to the side. 19 and a scribe came up to him, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.” 20 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” 21 Another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 22 And Jesus said to him, “Follow me and leave the dead to bury their own dead.” (Matthew 8:18-22, ESV).

You’re probably thinking something like: “Dang, that’s harsh. Jesus said that?” Well, let’s look into it more. One of the 10 commandments is to honor your father and mother. Jesus wouldn’t go against what He himself says.. right? Right!

Jesus is the eternal living God! However, he calls us to follow him! Jesus is the most important relationship in our lives and he calls us to put him as the most important allegiance in our lives! The life he calls us too is most definitely not an easy life. He never said it was. A matter of fact, he says: “33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace . In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, ESV)

But as you walk each day with him you find he’s worth learning to lay down EVERYTHING to follow him. We won’t be perfect at it. I fall short all the time. I don’t desire to, but I am an imperfect human too. The reality is there is this Holy God that gave his life for us! He was whipped, spit on, he walked a cross up a massive hill, and so much more for us! While hanging on that cross:

“34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they cast lots to divide his garments.” (Luke 23:34, ESV)

He loved and desired forgiveness for them! Without his death we could not ever have this personal relationship with Him. We wouldn’t ever be able to spend eternity with him. A place where there is no weeping, no mourning, no pain, no more suffering. We get to spend eternity with a Holy God in the fullness of his glory and stand face to face with him. The reality is that there is a Hell. People that don’t have him as their Lord and Savior will spend eternity in the exact opposite place of a Holy God. The exact opposite of everything that is good. God is the definition of good. The opposite of that! Oh, how that BREAKS ME inside. I wouldn’t want that for anyone. Not even what the world would consider the most evil people. I desire for others to know the deep love Jesus has for them. That whatever they have done they can be forgiven! For ALL of it!

People around the world don’t have that hope! There is some things that I have heard so much since I have been overseas. “There is something different about you.” Someone shared: “You all make me feel so loved. I’ve never felt the kind of love each of you have shown me.” Another: “You talk about your God with so much joy. Your eyes light up when you do.” People don’t understand it, but they see Jesus in us! They see the love we have for our God and for them. It brings tears to my eyes looking back throughout our time overseas. All the people we’ve met. I am so thankful for each person I have come across.

God clearly called me overseas. He clearly made a way for me to be here. God is the most important relationship in my life. Obedience to him is a way of loving him. He should be the head over our life, everything! The overwhelming strength and peace he has given me amidst suffering.

3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. 14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. (Hebrews 12: 3-14, ESV).

Wow! This passage is convicting! The author in this section says in verse 4: “4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” (Hebrews 12:4, ESV). They definitely faced persecution during that time. They faced suffering. They know what Jesus went through. These people weren’t at the point of martyrdom like many others in the early church were, but they faced a lot of hardship. But what if they were facing death for their faith? Is Jesus still worth it? Many people around the world face that reality of possible death for their faith. If they do, they live in eternity with the ETERNAL and HOLY and LOVING God. FOREVER. As someone I know said: “Death is not the end, its only the beginning.”

Truthfully, going through really hard things is not fun at all! In the midst of those time it really stinks! Like in verse 11, Painful!! Today, I can look back at my life and see the different seasons I have been through. If I’m really being honest with myself, at the end of each hard season of my life, I can look back and see growth from it! I see the fruit, the goodness that came from it! Something that God showed me! I gain this deeper understanding of who God is! I gain this deeper reliance on him! I see the great love He has for me in each season of my life! He was always there each step I took! He walked this earth like all of us! He understands!

14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16, ESV).

The moment I said yes to Jesus at 19, I never knew where I would be now. I NEVER would have fathomed. I can say I am convicted by these truths! I can say I am not perfect at any of this! However, I can say the truth is following Jesus is the best life I could have ever said yes too! There will be hardship, there will times of pain and sorrow. There will also be joy, there will be beautiful moments of meeting people you never thought you meet! There are many seasons in our lives but in the end I believe and KNOW it’s worth it! Do you KNOW?

1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 2 a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3 a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

I pray these words would be taken with love. That it would be very thought provoking and would be given deep thought! And they would jump off the page to each person that comes across to read them. 

As the apostle Paul said to the Thessalonian Church: “16 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.” (2 Thessalonians 3:16, ESV).

 

Love you all!